Dear Followers and Readers,
Last Friday, the carrier with whom I had booked a ticket completely changed the schedule for the upcoming trip to Guam. As a result, the new schedule will force me to stay on Guam for a total of 8 nights (with both the arrival and departure just after midnight, with all the logistical issues that that will pose for me, especially when I arrive). Furthermore, they announced that the schedules of all of their other few remaining flights have also been changed in the same way (in the case of their flight to Fukuoka, for example, since foreigners are not allowed to go out of the airport, I would have to remain in the transit lounge for 8 days). It is as if there is a concerted effort to expose people to the potential for contamination for as long as possible, though whether the goal is to then deny them re-entry on those grounds is something I do not know.
For the past nine years I have worked exclusively on these translations. A small group of people have extended a modest financial support to me in support of these efforts. A much larger group avail themselves of these posts without contributing anything. I have repeatedly asked for the help of the readers, not for myself, but to preserve this material – because, unfortunately, if I am not able to finish this work, I very much fear that it will not be possible for anyone else to do so. Certainly anyone who is even marginally qualified to do so would not approach this work without allowing their interpretation to be colored by the teachings of one of the modern schools (though, frankly, I cannot imagine anyone even considering to do so, since, in Japan at least, attempting to produce an honest and literal version of the Nampō Roku is considered to be equal to committing professional suicide). I have done everything in my very limited power to continue this work; but now the challenges confronting me are becoming more than I can survive. I know nothing about Guam, and I do not know anyone there. Since I do not have a credit card, I will have to take all of the money for expenses with me. Since the donations, to date, provide little more than what is necessary for the simplest sort of existence, there has not been much left that I could put away as some sort of insurance against the kind of situation that I now face (the increase between February and March, in the aftermath of my urgent plea, was $31).
An accurate understanding of the Nampō Roku – even more than the other period documents that I have attempted to address – requires access to certain physical objects, as I have written here so many times before, since the arguments proposed in the text are almost always based on an understanding of these specific things (the details of which, however, are largely unstated, and so have required decades of research to unravel). Without an understanding of these things, it is not possible to deal with this text, not least of all because the utensils that surround us will more frequently lead one astray, rather than assist with his or her understanding. Again, as I have written before, the use of these specific objects is calculated to enhance certain aspects of chanoyu, aspects which are nullified when different kinds of things are used. This is the bedrock on which the teachings of the Nampō Roku rest. So it is not enough to simply render the words into English, not if a deeper understanding of the phenomena that underlie the words is what we are seeking (as, indeed, we should be – since it is only on this level that chanoyu becomes sadō [茶道] in any meaningful way). This is the legacy that I have sought to preserve in the face of so many attempts to hinder the completion of this work. I have repeatedly begged you, the readers, for help; and, just as repeatedly, received virtually nothing in return. I understand that this is perhaps, in large part, due to ignorance. I have tried my best to provide as much insight as words can convey, but there is a limit to what words can do (especially when the reader does not have any experiences with which to compare the effects that I have tried to describe). Physical experience is what is needed, and it is perhaps precisely for this reason that certain entities have been so unstinting in their determination to eliminate the possibility of having such experiences.
At this point, I am broken. I have been financially ruined since before I began working on these translations, and the assistance provided by the readers has only helped me to put off the eventual end. Now, being forced into making this trip…I just do not see how it will be possible to continue (especially if, as I have been indirectly given to believe, I am refused re-entry after wasting God knows how much money in Guam). If I am not here, I cannot protect the physical things on which all of these arguments are based; if I am not here, everything will be destroyed as soon as my absence is known. So it is not a matter of stuffing a handful of books into my suitcase and then continuing from wherever I can gain access to an internet connection. And there is nobody here, or anywhere else, to whom I can hand off this work, again due to lack of interest on the part of the readers. Unfortunately, this project is not, and never has been, an “OnlyFans” site, where the donor gains access to the gratification that he or she pays for. Your help has been asked so as to enable me to continue the work of bringing to light teachings that have not been “available” for 400 years, because (and I truly regret having to say so) it would appear that I am the only person capable of bringing this work to fruition.
My body is failing; my eyesight is failing. I can see almost nothing now with my right eye (which is the dominant eye), I can walk only with difficulty, and the pain in my abdomen and in my knees makes it increasingly difficult to sit on the floor for the hours-at-a-time necessary to produce these translations. Where it used to take a matter of minutes to create the illustrations, for example, now it can take hours, since, for the past several months, I just cannot align the lines easily any more (a combination of my eyes, and the shaking in my hands, I guess, which makes it harder and harder to control the mouse). I have asked, again and again, for help, but, as shown above, the help is minimal, when it comes at all. If you, the readers, really understood what I am trying to do, I cannot imagine that this work could be so trivialized or marginalized. But since you do not…I do not know where I can look for help. Maybe it is even too late to look for help, now.
I apologize for publishing such a strange post as this – though every word of it has been heartfelt, honest, and sincere. I apologize for my personal (and financial) inadequacies; for those of my failings that have brought this work to this unfortunate point. I am sure my detractors are pleased, since this is the goal toward which they have worked for many, many years. Beyond this, there is nothing more that I can say.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Daniel M. Burkus
<daniel_burkus@yahoo.com>
